The weird thing is that change feels natural to me...until I start to think about. In the moment, I'm fine. I have friends here and I have my lovely roommates and floormates, who are great. I stay in touch with my friends from home, but not necessarily on a daily basis. Most of the connection we have now is through a really long, drawn-out facebook thread of messages between us. I don't see a problem with studying French in the 2nd Burton lounge or reading plays for David Wiles or hanging out in Sayles with Emily and Connor.

But then sometimes I start thinking, and it's thinking that screws everything up. I miss my best friends, the people to whom I could tell everything and not even have to worry about whether or not they'd judge me or be offended or understand what I mean, because they wouldn't and they wouldn't and they would. I miss having my own room, even if sometimes it meant sleeping on the couch when it got too cold. I miss thinking that 50 degrees is "cold." I miss sunshine. I miss my mom.

I don't know what I want to do with my life anymore. I did a year ago. I was convinced I knew what was right and couldn't possibly go down another track. Now I'm not so sure. I came in here planning to do a major in theatre with a concentration in educational studies. I don't think that's going to work out for me. I don't know what is. I've wanted to be a teacher since my sophomore year of high school, and even before that, I wanted to be in theatre. Now I don't know if I want to be in theatre. If I do, I don't know if I want to teach it. And if I do want to teach it, I have to major in English. I don't know if I have the confidence to major in English. Or the skill. I'm doing fine in my Shakespeare class but I can't figure out 150 intelligent words to say about Othello right now, which is frustrating. I wish it came naturally. Sometimes I wish I had gone to journalism school. Sometimes I realize that's an incredibly idiotic idea.

I miss life being simple(r).